Changing The ConversationNo sooner has a person brought up an issue than someone is likely to offer their view on that issue and before a moment has passed the difference between the two views becomes the topic of a conversation.

Reading current news stimulates this kind of conversation – and where does it go? Watch it happen. It either runs out of steam, diverts to another subject, or becomes an argument and difference gets established and one or the other party ‘backs off’. In extreme circumstances, anger breaks out.

Between the issue coming up and one’s ‘reaction’, there is what psychologists call a refractory period – a space, a moment of time where one can consider the issue.

One can change the course of a conversation by just taking that moment and asking oneself what one really thinks – afresh. Even saying out loud, ‘let me think about that for a moment’.

It can encourage the other person, who is already preparing to push back on whatever you will say, to pause in their own reactions and ask themselves what they really think.

Now this kind of moment changes the course of conversation and allows two people to think afresh from the same reflection, ‘let me take a moment and think about this’.
We take it for granted that we converse in the way we do – we miss the opportunity for real exchange.

That moment of pause is symptomatic of the larger reflection of our times where we know we cannot continue as we do – that the way we think and act is not sustainable. This is REAL news. If we really do recognize that life as we live it is not sustainable, this reflection brings a mindfulness of the fact inside ourselves living.

Translating what is occurring in our outer world inside ourselves allows the ‘evolutary’ pressure of our times to carry forward CHANGE in our selves. This simple conscious act allows the balances of our inner world to correspond with the reality of the outer world and engenders a new place of beginning… let us think about this some more!

Copyright © Richard A. Bowell, 2017

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